SOMEONE keeps singing retarded, messed up Christmas carols. Badly. Barry is lucky that he's cute, or else someone might have eaten him already.

And now he wants to go to Wal-mart to shop. EW. I don't CARE if all the other stores are closed at this time of night. I want to go somewhere nice.

Why can't we just break in, anyway? HELLO super vampire strength? Who would stop me???

Bored. Visiting Barry/Xander. Gay men=no more boring! YAY!

*~*Firewalled against Xander/Barry

You know what stinks? Like...not being able to have fun. I'm TOTALLY stuck underground because if I poke my head up, evilXander is gonna make me hang out with him some more.

And that's TOTALLY lame. I mean, why would I wanna hang out with him? He's like this hugely, stupid, stiff, boring block of something...really...like, unmoveable. Like steel or something. He never lets me have any fun.

And you know, he's totally gay. Aren't gay people supposed to be like, a total ball and a half? I mean, Carson never gets all lamoid like Harris.

...I so need a pedicure.

*~*end firewall

I totally got away from Barry while he was in the bathroom. It really pays not to, you know...HAVE to go to the bathroom. :D DUMBASS.

I should have probably just killed him to get away, but...whatever.

Okay, first off, who listens to crap like Velvet Revolver, anyway? It's all...grrrr-y and STUPID.

And someone totally hid my Britney Greatest Hits album. And when I find out who did it, I'm going to bite them in the worst way, EVER!

Third, Barry promised me a massage and a pedicure before I go to see Spike. He SO better deliver. And he better not be all perverted and enjoy it too much.

The plane was TOTALLY a night flight, but who knew it would be like, kinda daylight out in Cleveland? WEIRD.

I had to travel through the sewers. I mean, really, I can't say EWW enough. EW!

Anyway, I'm stopping by one of the satellite offices to clean up. I do want to look my best afterall.

Plane tickets are totally bought! Yay! Nighttime flight of course.

I'm going to SUCH an awesome surprise!

I need to get a manicure like Britney needs Justin.

Maybe I'll spend my weekend getting like, ALL spiffed up at the spa.

Because, you never really know who you're going to run into. Especially if you're visiting TOTALLY new companies your boss just gave you.

Wilbur has been gone, like forever, now. He did send me a present though for doing such a good job in getting rid of the demon union mucking up the works and our quarterly earnings. MORE COMPANIES! YAY! I'm getting TONS of cute, scented, pink and lilac business cards printed up..."Harmony Kendall, president and CEO"

Sounds classy, right? I'm thinking about sticking on "SO Gonna rock your world!" That would be completely and totally jerkin.

So, going through it looks like I've picked up a few more cable companies and some company that makes canned meat products. Ew. Gross.

...heh. Now I have a picture of little people in cans. Hee.

//TOTALLY firewalled, like, all over the place.

I have two companies in Cleveland now. It's kind of like Monopoly, only way less dorky. Anyway, Barry/Xander is in Cleveland, which means Dumpy the Vampire Slayer must be there too. And where Dumpy is...so goes that LOSER, I used to date.

...maybe I can plan a visit. Like, for the companies.

//end the pretty pink firewall of nobody I know can read that stuff.

SO SO SO SO SO SO SO BORED! Bored-er than anyone has even been boreded before!

I really feel like eating someone.

The warehouse is icky demon free! YAY!

I'm thinking to get rid of the carcasses and stinky, GROSS smell that I sort of think Angel left behind, I'm going to paint it pink and get like, pretty flower shaped airfresheners.

Oohh...cotton candy smelling air fresheners! Yum.

I wonder if Barry can go out and pick them up for me.

I think I have to call the icktacular Barry now.

I mean, I'd totally be happy with his unworthy ass out of my life, but I sort of need him.

I mean, first there were these union demons, and we killed them good, but now, my warehouse is being overrun by smaller, EVEN ickier demons. Someone in accounting said that they used to be food for the union demons.

This union stuff is SO complicated.

I'm Harmony and I'm so awesome because I TOTALLY love everything about Mischa Barton, she's so much awesomer than I could ever truly be.

And I love Angel and his pasty slightly round ass. I'd love to take a bite outta that one. RAWR!

And I also admit to being totally stuck up and vapid.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

YAY FOR MY STUPID DUMB ASS!!!!!

heh. X

took me lng tme to find a sap.

stpd Larry harris!!! :( ths bttr wrk.

here @ htl of Barry Harris. IF IDONT POST AGN SOON, BARRY IS A STLKR. SEND HLP!!!!!!!

Some humany kinds of guys got here today. I think that the one human union called them in to help them deal with the demon union.

Ugh. I SO do not want, like random body parts down in construction.

I'm totally going to have to go down there and start busting squicky little heads, all by myself.

EW. ...and I just got my nails done, too!

To: Squicky Demon Union
From: Harmony Kendall, executive administrative assistant to the CEO, and acting CEO.
RE: YOU ALL SUCK!

------------------------------------------------------------

Hey stupid-ass, ugly, slimey, gross, disgusting demons.

Please stop sacrificing babies. Also, go back to work.

Kthxbye!

:)


HK

Those gross demon union guys are totally pissing me off. I think they're down in the cafeteria sacrificing babies or something. Whatever it is, it's REALLY disgusting and smelly.

UGH! Stupid demons.

We'll see what they have to say when I get someone to come over here and chop them all to bits! I'd totally do it myself, but I just got my nails done. Little bitty, sparkly, purple unicorns on EACH pink nail! SO cute!

Ugh. Work is hard and stuff. This is way tougher than any Wolfram and Hart crap.

Anyway, Wilbur is out of this plane of existence or something. He said there was like, an acquisitions period he had to go to or whatever. All I know, is that he said he'd bring me back something pink and sparkly! YAY!

So I'm totally in charge of this place right now, and people are really starting to piss me off! I mean, does anyone know how to deal with unions? Not just the regular kinds with big sweaty guys in it, but the kinds with big sweaty demons in it. They're being all weird and completely ruining my day. I mean, what do I care if one demon union is getting more sacrificial/prayer/defacing time than the other??? Losers.

I think I'm going to call Cordy and Angel and see what their little band of dogooding dead thigns can do about it. Wilbur said if anything was going wrong, spare no expense to make it right.

EW protesting outside my window?? With picket signs? If it wasn't day light, I'd TOTALLY go out and kick their asses!

Huh, I have a Livejournal?

That's SO weird! And sorta cool...but mostly weird.

:D <3

- send out errand boy to get the grocery list for Wilbur's big shindig tonight. (Something about phases of the moon and optimal trajectory something somethings)

- totally get one of the secretary girls to tape Days of Our Lives for me. I've been so busy with work and revenge and stuff, that I haven't had time to check in on the big death island.

- draw some names out of a hat to decide who gets those Emmy things this year. (What, you thought real people decided this stuff? This year it's Wilbur's turn and he's letting me do it!)

- beautify myself. Being the one in charge is super-taxing and it's best to take ...preventative measures.

- make more lists. They are TOTALLY fun!